Hey guys! I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve done a blog post, but things have been super crazy lately and because I don’t want this to be an added stress or in my life, I don’t want to force or rush myself to post…
Anyway, for the first time in a while, things started getting a little rough again regarding my mental health. For over a month now, I’ve been extremely tired throughout the day where I have been falling asleep in class almost every day. I felt like I just couldn’t get myself up to do anything anymore and would just lay in bed all day if I could. I knew something was wrong because that wasn’t typical of me. I couldn’t stay awake no matter how hard I tried and one time, I even fell asleep while driving!! Luckily, It was only for a few seconds that time, but at that point, I knew something had to be done because it really started to scare me. I didn’t make sense—I used to get only a few hours of sleep every night and be fine during the day and now, I was getting around 8 hours of sleep in addition to falling asleep in class and taking a nap almost everyday when I got home. I ended up getting a blood test done, expecting to find something wrong that was making me feel this way, but everything came back completely normal. There was part of me hoping it would be iron or vitamin deficiency or something so I could just take some pills and fix it, but apparently that wasn’t the case.
Now, there is a chance it could be me having side effects from one of my medications, but it’s also likely that everything is just catching up to me. I’ve been extremely busy lately and I never really have time to just relax. Plus, it got progressively worse because all my homework started piling up because with the little time I had left in my day to work on it, I’d fall asleep (no surprise there) and then found myself left with an impossible load of homework to finish. School, work, plus band was just taking a toll, not only on my mental health, but on my physical health as well. I felt guilty for doing anything I enjoyed because in my mind, I should have been always doing my homework and if it wasn’t finished, I didn’t deserve a break. In this time, I was crying myself to sleep and was even breaking down at school. I knew I was falling into depression again—I could feel it. My parents felt it too, trying their best to keep me caught up on school work and keep me awake while doing it. They were also there to check up on me to make sure I was coping with everything okay and not falling back into old self harm habits.
Anyway, I feel like I’m slightly improving with my drowsiness, but it’s definitely still there. You know what’s also still there? The REALLY dark bags under my eyes lol… But I have realized that something has to change. I don’t think my body will let me go on like this too much longer and I need to focus on getting healthy again. After all, even though it’s hard for me to actually do at times, I just have to remember that my health becomes before school, work, and band. Also, in order to be healthy, I need a break every now and then to destress and to actually take the time to relax—in fact, we all do. Right now, marching band season is almost over so I’ll have more time after that and then, I asked for less hours at work. Unfortunately my school won’t give me less hours, so sadly, that’ll have to stay for now lol.
Anyway, I know all of our lives can get crazy at times. When this happens, we just have to step back and see what we can do to alleviate it. This could be working less hours, committing to less things, or just making sure to give yourself a break every now and then. Also, having a support system and talking about it with them can help so much as well. After all, God even took a day of rest, so why shouldn’t we? The Bible says, “There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience” (Hebrews 4:9-11). This proves that God meant for us to rest and even designated a day for us to do so! We aren’t meant to be working all the time to the point where we are extremely exhausted!
Essentially, make sure that you aren’t so focused on other things in your life, that you forget to take care of YOU, because in the end, your health is always more important. So if you find that you’re busy day after day, hour after hour, then go take a break and do something for YOU. You deserve it💕